We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
