the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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