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I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
