My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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