Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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