No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
