I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
