No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So much rum. So many feels.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
