I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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