i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
