ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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