I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize