he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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