We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
