Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
