I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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