I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
