somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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