No awkward lesbian experiences without me
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
