I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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