OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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