respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
