I have demons in me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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