woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
