dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
