if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I deserve this hangover.
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