If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
