Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
