OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
