Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
