By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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