my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
