i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
