What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
