He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
