he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
