i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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