Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
COCAINE IS GR8
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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