You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
