She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
