No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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