he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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