idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
