Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
