did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
