Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
