I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
