Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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