you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
