They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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