Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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