So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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